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Quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever seen on the internet.

ugly dogs Said:

Is it impious to weigh goose music and art in the same scales? I think not, because the true hunter is merely a noncreative artist. Who painted the first picture on a bone in the caves of France? A hunter. Who alone in our modern life so thrills to the sight of living beauty that he will endure hunger and thirst and cold to feed his eye upon it? The hunter. Who wrote the great hunter's poem about the sheer wonder of the wind, the hail, and the snow, the stars, the lightnings, and the clouds, the lion, the deer, and the wild goat, the raven, the hawk, and the eagle, and above all the eulogy to the horse? Job, one of the great dramatic artists of all time. Poets sing and hunters scale the mountains primarily for one and the same reason--the thrill of beauty. Critics write and hunters outwit their game primarily for one and the same reason--to reduce that beauty to possession. The differences are largely matters of degree, consciousness, and that sly arbiter of the classification of human activities, language. If, then, we can live without goose music, we may as well do away with stars, or sunsets, or Iliads. But the point is we would be fools to do away with any of them. 

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A woman was shopping at the Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She didn't know which one to get, so she just grabbed one and went over to the counter.

The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark shades.
She said to him, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?”

He said, “Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.”

She didn't believe him but dropped it on the counter anyway......

He said, “That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a good all-around combination, and it's on sale this week for only $20.00.”

She said, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!” As she opened her purse, her credit card dropped onto the floor.

“Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,” he said."

She bent down to pick it up and accidentally farted.

At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes......there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was her who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around?

The man rang up the sale and said, “That'll be $34.50 please.”

The woman is totally confused by this and asked, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?”

He replied, “Yes, ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Dynasty Duck Call is $11.00, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.”

She paid it and left without saying a word.

Neat

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Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation.
 
The black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said, "So why are you here?"
 
The yellow Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything ... the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."
 
The black Lab said, "So what's the vet going to do? "
 
"Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the yellow Lab.
"They reckon it'll calm me down."
 
The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked, "Why are you here?"
 
The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners' couch."
 
"So what are they going to do to you?" the Yellow Lab inquired.
 
"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected black Lab said.
 
The black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?
 
"I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and she was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away."
 
The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said,
"So, it's nuts off for you too, huh?"

The Great Dane said, "No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped!"

Neat

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LOL Hilarious JohnR

NATE

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and in Colorado.....

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Sometimes what is going through your head, should stay in your head!

Only crooked politicians fear armed citizens.

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Sometimes what is going through your head, should stay in your head!

Only crooked politicians fear armed citizens.

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Sometimes what is going through your head, should stay in your head!

Only crooked politicians fear armed citizens.

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Sometimes what is going through your head, should stay in your head!

Only crooked politicians fear armed citizens.

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Sometimes what is going through your head, should stay in your head!

Only crooked politicians fear armed citizens.

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Sometimes what is going through your head, should stay in your head!

Only crooked politicians fear armed citizens.

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Sometimes what is going through your head, should stay in your head!

Only crooked politicians fear armed citizens.

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Sometimes what is going through your head, should stay in your head!

Only crooked politicians fear armed citizens.

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Sometimes what is going through your head, should stay in your head!

Only crooked politicians fear armed citizens.

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awesome!

bckhntr Said:

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bckhntr Said:

Now that is just cruel.

God, Family, Green Bay Packers!

Johnny 7

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I support cat torture

 

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bckhntr Said:

excellent

Neat

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guywhofishes Said:
I support cat torture

Oh come on Randy , just because one cat wouldn't play with Royce , I'll bet if you keep trying you'll find a "willing" participant :

I don't drink alcohol, I drink distilled spirits; so I am not an alcoholic... I am spiritual
Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the 
Government take care of him; better take a closer look at the American Indian!" .

 

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johnr Said:

bckhntr Said:

excellent

Did you recover the granola bars?

                                                                                                                         

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